Nobody loves you
- Your mom doesn’t return your calls.
- You need a kidney, and your siblings are “all out.”
- The only shoulder you can cry on is beside a road. (Zing!)
- You told the waiter it was your birthday, and he ate your complimentary brownie.
- You’re an FHM subscriber*.
*FHM is the number one of "guy-lifestyle-magz" in Britain.